I have Embraced Hatred of My First Book to Empower my Future Writing

Hate is a strong but undeniably powerful word.

Hate is a word an emotional word. Hate is a negative word. A toxic word. A word we try to remove from our daily lives. But hate can be positive if you know what you are doing.

After all, it's why I hate my first completed book.

A First Novel Reflection

Writing and completing my first novel is an accomplishment I will always take pride in. No one will ever be able to take that accomplishment away from me. Knowing I believed in myself to see this through is a fantastic feeling. It's even more astonishing that I was fortunate enough to have a mentor who believed in me.

Like many, I hoped the world would come to me once my first novel was out in the wild. But very little happened since I opted to self-publish and had little to no marketing money. I was impatient that it didn't happen as soon as I wanted. And unhappy that it never happened.

Time Stops for No One

As time passed, I made many attempts at writing a second novel. My problem was I couldn't decide which story to write next. I had an idea for a memoir. An idea for a science-fiction book. Another idea for a horror story. And yet another idea for a thriller.

I planned and planned and thought about my next novel. As each year progressed after the first, I liked my first novel less and less.

Re-Write What is Already Written

I have always considered re-writing my first novel and republishing it as a second edition. This is not normal for fiction novels. But textbooks do it all the time. Why can't I?

Part of my hatred for my first novel was a need to improve. My first novel was a great accomplishment that was more about proving that I could do this. At the same time, I know I can write better stories and characters.

This is why I now hate my first novel. Not because I think it is terrible but because I know I can do better.

After Many Years, I'm Still Motivated

It's been many years since writing my first novel, and I have yet to write a whole story for anything else. But I am still motivated and know I can do it.

I have learned through my impatience to be patient and allow things to happen. I have learned to adapt to change and have come from it is stronger and more focused. The world has gone through so many changes since then.

Exercise Your Writing Muscle

Writing is a muscle.
Writing is a battle.
It's a battle with yourself.

A battle to fight those inner demons and those naysayers. It requires absolute and total belief in oneself to see things through. It requires motivation. It requires determination.

From now on, writing can sometimes come from hating one's previous work.

I have refocused the hatred I grew from what to better my first novel into future writing motivation. It's hard to let go of a project. After all, wasn't it Picasso said something like he never finishes a painting, stops? If he tried to finish a painting, he would be working on one painting his entire life.

I try to remember that quote as an example as I push forward into the unknown. Though I have written, I have many writing adventures to travel.